Today is one of my favorite days of the year. It is The Lady’s last day of school, which means we’ll have lots more time together after today. It’s also the day that she has to go commence, which, after all these years, I now know means to begin even though it happens at the end of the school year. I like the idea that it is commencing with summer vacation! What I don’t like is when The Lady commences, she always wears those ridiculous looking clothes!
That big black robe thing that The Lady wears makes me think that she should be on daytime TV as the next Judge Judy. Shhh…don’t tell Mr. Guy and The Lady that I watch that stuff when they are not home! A new show Judge The Lady…that doesn’t sound good. Maybe The Lady Judge…better, but…I don’t need to worry about The Lady’s TV career. She is happy as a teacher. I bet that is because she only has to wear these weird clothes a couple times a year!
And then there is that hood thing. I still don’t know why it is called a hood. Hoods go on your head. The Lady wears this thing like a cape. It should give her some kind of super powers, but it doesn’t. You know why it doesn’t give her superpowers? Because it is ugly! Pink and green? Who puts pink and green together? I know, I know. She didn’t pick the colors. They have something to do with the special color for her school and the fact that she studied those weird dots and lines and squiggles at that school . If she had asked me, I would have told her that she should have made different choices. Like she always tells me, choices have consequences and sometimes those consuquences are with you your whole life!
She should have gone to a school with prettier colors and studied something that didn’t make you wear pink! If The Lady had been an engineer instead of someone who reads dots and squiggles and lines, then her cape hood would have been orange. That would have been a much better choice – as far as the hood color. But I don’t think The Lady would be a very good engineer. We shouldn’t tell her that either.
When The Lady was getting ready to leave, part of me wanted to go with her and part of me didn’t. She had to go early so that she could rehearse with the orchestra. That’s where she and her friends all practice reading their dots and lines and squiggles together. Every person has different looking books to read and they all use something different to make sounds. The Lady blows on a black tube. Some people blow on silver tubes and others on gold curly tubes. Other people saw on big pieces of wood with strings. And some people use sticks to bang on circles. I have no idea how all these people doing different things sounds good together, but it does. I should mention that almost all of these people wear pink hoods so they too have gone to school to learn to read dot, line, and squiggle language.
All that to say that the commencing night takes a long time. The orchestra plays, lots of people talk and then lots of people have their names called and they walk across they stage and shake lots of hand and get a fancy folder and have lots of pictures taken. It is kind of boring for a furry little blue and orange monster. Don’t tell The Lady I said that either!
I did notice something after The Lady got her weird clothes on.
The Lady’s hood looked like a perfectly-sized monster hammock! I could crawl right inside it, go to the commencing night with The Lady, and sleep through the whole thing! This was a great plan!
When I shared my plan, The Lady disagreed with it. She said that first of all I would get squished when she sat back in her chair. She had to sit back in her chair so that she would be comfortable during all of the boring parts. And secondly, she said that she did not want to look like a confused kangaroo whose pocket was on the wrong side of her body. I don’t think I look at all like a baby kangaroo! Have you ever seen a blue and orange kangaroo?
I stayed home. That was really OK because that green and pink does nothing for my pretty blue and orange fur.
And I got to catch up on Judge Judy reruns!
