Six Feet

This car on a iris, I mean carona virus, is a strange thing.  We are still supposed to be sheltering in place and I am still curious about how turtles do this.  I asked Mr. Guy if he would take me to the park so that I could ask a turtle about just how turtles do shelter in place.  Mr. Guy said he could take me, but that we would have to practice “social distancing measures.”  I told Mr. Guy that I would be happy to do that if I had any idea what he was talking about.

Mr. Guy explained to mean that “social distancing” means that we have to stay six feet away from other people.  Six feet?  I don’t have six feet.  How will I know if I am to close?  Mr. Guy and The Lady don’t have six feet.  The only thing I know about that has six feet is a beetle.  So I figured that social distancing must mean that I have to stay a beetle’s length away from other people.  Beetle’s feet aren’t very big so I was sure I could do that.  I was a little worried at first.   If I had to stay six of Mr. Guy’s feet away or six of a big tall basketball player’s feet away I might be a little scared.  I’m just a little monster and I don’t like to get too far away from Mr. Guy and The Lady.  I told Mr. Guy that I thought that I could do well with social distancing, that I promised to stay a beetle’s length away from other people, even him!

Mr. Guy looked very confused.  “A beetle’s length away?” he said.  I explained to him that he had told me about staying six feet away from other people and the only thing that I knew about with six feet were beetles!  He told me that he was not talking about the six feet on a beetle.   He was talking about feet like on a ruler.  A ruler?  A ruler like a king?  I have met lots of people, but ( have never met a king.  And even if I had, I don’t think I would know how big their feet are!  This social distancing thing was getting way too complicated for this little blue and orange furry monster!  Maybe I didn’t really want to go to the park after all!

Mr. Guy tried again to explain to me about the six feet.  He told me that one foot is twelve inches, the length of the kind of ruler we use to draw straight lines, and that makes six rulers equal to six feet, or seventy-two inches.  I had to stay seventy-two inches away from people?!  I’m not sure that this little monster can count that high all by myself.  Mr. Guy finally told me not to worry.  He said that he knew how far six feet or seventy-two inches is; so, if he carried me in the park all I had to worry about was looking for a turtle  He would worry about proper social distancing.  This made me very happy!

The part of the park where we went was not crowded so no one had to worry about beetle feet, or kings feet, or seventy-two inches.  That was a relief!  Mr. Guy said that he would show me how to use his camera so that I could take a picture of my turtle friends…from six feet away…when I found them.

Once I knew which buttons to push, we were off to look for a turtle.

We looked…and looked…and looked.

Apparently turtles don’t shelter in place at the park.  Or maybe they too are confused about this six feet thing!

May 25 – What’s for Dinner?

I thought today would be an all-day fun day since it is Saturday and because The Lady wasn’t at school during the week, she could have gotten her chores done on Monday or Tuesday or Wednesday or Thursday, or Friday.  Well, I was a very wrong little monster about that.  Today was an all-day chore day!  Mr. Guy and I worked in the greenhouse and the yard while The Lady collected canine fur from all over the house.  Part of what Mr. Guy and I did was collect “other stuff” that the canines left out in the yard.  What I don’t understand is while we were all picking up stuff that the canines left everywhere, they were all snoring on the couch.  Something isn’t right here.

I thought doing chores was all about getting rid of dirt, but Mr. Guy and I filled all of the clean plant pots with dirt and moved plants into these new pots.  When we were done with that, Mr. Guy said we needed to go work on the flower beds.  We had just put all of the plants and flowers in clean new pots and now we had to make their beds too?  The flowers are beginning to sound like the canines…they too just sit around and look pretty while this little monster does all the work.

And if all that work wasn’t enough, Mr. Guy and I also had to make dinner.  Well, the truth is that Mr. Guy said he wanted to make dinner and he asked me to help.  He said that it would be something nice that we could do for The Lady since she makes dinner for us most other nights.  I don’t know much about cooking, but I said, “OK.  I’ll help.”  I asked Mr. Guy what we were having for dinner.  He said stakes and cold straw.  That sounded…interesting.

We put tall skinny stakes in some of the pots for our plants.  I thought they were there so the plants didn’t fall over.  I guess they are food too and keep the plants from falling over because they are so hungry.  I didn’t know that plants, humans, and little monsters all ate the same thing.  We pulled the stakes out of the bags and fed them to the plants just as they came.  They must be plant fast food.  I assumed we would eat them raw too.  Good choice to have stakes for dinner, I guess…no real work for us!

I told Mr. Guy that I would go get the straw from the compost bin and take it to the refrigerator.  He looked a little confused and asked my why I was going to do that.  I told him, “Because you said we were having cold straw for dinner and it is ninety degrees outside and our straw is hot.  He then explained that we were not having cold straw.  We are having cole slaw, a salad made from cabbage.  That makes a lot more sense and sounds a lot tastier, especially with the raw stakes.  Mr. Guy and I made the cole slaw together and put it in the fridge so that it became cold cole slaw with NO straw.

Then it was time to get ready to eat dinner.  Mr. Guy said that we were going to cook outside on the grill.  What were we cooking?  The cole slaw was cold and the stakes were raw.  Mr. Guy said that we were going to cook the stakes.  I think that is why The Lady makes Mr. Guy cook outside.  Cooking the wood stakes sounded more like he was  going to make a bonfire, which would make lots of smoke, rather than dinner.  Smoke in the house is not good.  It makes the smoke detector go off and that is an awful sound.

Mr. Guy let me turn the grill on.  It has a big lid.  I guess that keeps all the smoke from the bonfire in.  Ouside we have smoke deflectors instead of smoke detectors!

I asked Mr. Guy if he wanted me to go to the greenhouse to get the stakes.  He said that they were in the fridge with the cole slaw.  How did the stakes get in the fridge with the cole slaw?  I went to get them.  I didn’t see any stakes.  Mr. Guy went and got them himself.  He couldn’t find them either because he came out with two pieces of meat instead of the stakes.

I asked, “Why do you have meat?  I thought you were cooking the stakes.”

He said, “This is them.”

“Those don’t look like stakes.,” I said.

“Why not?” Mr. Guy asked.

I said, “Because stakes are long skinny pieces of wood and those are short fat pieces of meat.”

“S-T-E-A-K-S not S-T-A-K-E-S,” Mr. Guy said.

“Hmm.  And how was I supposed to know that?” I asked.

“Good question,” he said.  And we cooked our s-t-e-a-k-s.

Mr. Guy and I make pretty good steaks and cole slaw…

…probably much better than our stakes and cold straw would have been.

May 17 – Sort Of Confusing Italians

After my confusion the other night with Mr. Fibonacci and Mr. Pisa and wanting pizza, Mr. Guy and The Lady said we could go out for pizza tonight for dinner.  Usually we make pizza at home, so this was a real treat.  Acually, I think Mr. Guy and The Lady did not want to cook.  That was OK with me.  I like to go on adventures.

We drove to the pizza place.  I could see that their sign was orange.  That made me happy!  When I got close enough to read it, though, it said Bay  34th St.  We don’t have any bays near our house.  Where I came from in Delaware, there was a bay.  The food at that bay was fish not pizza.  I sure hope we are not having fish pizza!  Then I read the rest of the sign…New York style pizza.  I’ve been to New York and I ate pizza there and it was not fish pizza.  But still New York pizza in Texas?  Mr. Guy said that the people who make the pizza are probably from New York and they brought their recipes with them to make pizza here in Texas.

I got to go look through a window at all the pizzas and tell the pizza maker guy which one I wanted.  There was a funny looking moon-shaped thing in the window that did not look at all like a pizza.  I asked Mr. Guy what it was.  He told me that it was a Cow Zone.  Ooooh!  That didn’t sound good!  I live in Texas.  I know about cows and what cows leave in cow zones.  These people from New York must not know about cows or they wouldn’t make food from stuff in the Cow Zones!!!  That makes even fish pizza sound pretty good.  I didn’t order a Cow Zone!

Not only did the pizza makers from New York bring their recipes, they also brought some signs from New York too.  I rode the Subway when I was in New York.  I remember signs that look exactly like this.  It was fun to think back to my trip while we waited for our pizza.

Then the pizza came!  I have been whining, and wanting, and waiting for pizza for a long time.  Well, for a couple days.  That is a long time to a furry little blue and orange monster.  Boy was it worth the wait!  My pizza had lots of stuff on it – sausage and pepperoni and olives and onions and peppers and probably some other stuff, but definitely not fish or stuff from the cow zone!

This pizza was delicious!!!  It was worth the wait!

After we finished eating and were ready to go home, Mr. Guy showed me a sign that was behind where I was sitting.

I think I owe Mr. Guy five cents for whining about wanting pizza.  That’s OK.  This pizza was worth way more than five cents!  It might even be worth ten cents to whine doubly for pizza again soon!

May 14 – A Very Strange Week

You may have noticed that I disappeared for a week.  This was not my plan and it was not my fault!  The Lady, Mr. Guy and I were on a roll…not like a cinnamon roll.  We weren’t covered in icing!  It was more like the roll of a roller coaster.   We were going fast and having lots of fun and then all of the sudden, the ride stopped.  I didn’t make it stop.  The Lady didn’t make it stop.  Mr. Guy didn’t make it stop.  Facebook made it stop!

It is the craziest thing!

A week ago, The Lady and I wrote our post together and she tried to share the link to it on Facebook.  (She has to do that because I am not old enough to be on Facebook all by myself.)  When she posted it, Facebook said, “Nope!”  They told her we were violating Community Standards.  I asked the Lady what that meant and she said that she had no idea.  She and Mr. Guy read some stuff on the Internet that sort of explained what that meant, but they said that what they saw didn’t make any sense in our case.  Mr. Guy said that someone somewhwere must not like what I write and told Facebook that I am spam so they won’t let me share my stories anymore.

Mr. Guy sent lots and lots of messages to Facebook hoping they would tell him exactly what the problem was.  They never answered him.  I think that is rude.  I know there is lots and lots of mean stuff that peopole say on Facebook and rude stuff and stuff that little blue and orange furry monsters shouldn’t see.  Facebook doesn’t make them go away.  I don’t undestand why they don’t like me, why they made me go away.  This whole situation makes me so sad.  I haven’t wanted to write anything.  I was afraid that I might say something that wasn’t nice, something that little monsters shouldn’t say.  So I decided to say nothing for awhile.

After doing more research, Mr. Guy said that he doesn’t think that Facebook dislikes me.  He thinks they don’t like the people who hosted my blog.  So, he found a new host for my blog!  He moved all my stuff.  Mr. Guy said some of it looks funny, but it is the best he can do right now.  He’ll keep working on it.  If you are reading this from a link on Facebook, the what he did worked!

I have tried to be kind and not be super mad at Facebook, but this has been really hard for this little monster.  Fortunately, last week when we shopping at the red store with the white circles, I got this new shirt that I am wearing today.  This is an important message for me right now!  I wish I could givre Facebook one of these shirts too!  I don’t think that they are radiating kindness at all.  I also don’t think the red store with the white circles makes a shirt big enough to fit great big Facebook!

On a happier note, last week when I couldn’t talk to any of you, Offspring No. 2 got a little monster of her very own.

He is not furry and blue and orange, but he is little.  The Lady said he is big for a baby monster, but he is a lot smaller than me.  I was going to share my shirts with him, but The Lady said they would be way too big for a couple of years, until this little monster grows.  That’s OK.  Offspring No. 2’s monster doesn’t know about mean people yet, so he doesn’t need a “Radiate Kindness” shirt.  If he needs it when he is bigger, I will be happy to share with him!

The store where Offspring No. 2 got her little monster was great big, much bigger than the store where Mr. Guy and The Lady got me.  This new monster store even had it’s own elevator!  To me, this store seemed more like a hotel!  Offspring No. 2 and Her Guy had to eat and sleep at the store for three days before they could buy their little monster and take him home.  Maybe they wanted to make sure that they didn’t buy a monster that would snore or walk in his sleep or eat all of Offspring No. 2’s peanut butter cookies!  I guess it all worked out and they are going to keep this little monster because they took him home to their house.  Offspring No. 2 said I can come visit him anytime!  I am excited about that!  I’ll be glad when he is big enough for me to share my shirts and play with him!

Today, our celebration flowers bloomed!  I call them celebration flowers because they look like they have party lights or Christmas lights in them.

Do you think the middle looks light a Christmas light?

Some of the flowers also look like they have confetti in them.

I’m so happy that our celebration flowers bloomed today.  We are celebrating the new monster in our family, Mr. Guy getting me a new blog; and, we are celebrating kindness!

Even when it’s hard, I hope that you, like this little blue and orange furry monster, will try to radiate kindness.  It really does make everything better!

Thank you for reading!

My new blog address is:  www.blueperbblueprints.com

Also, if you like reading my stories, will you please like and follow me on Facebook: Blueper B

Thank You!

Friday Guy Day in Denver

Last Friday when we were in Denver…

The Lady and some of her friends with white fur – Ms. Joni, Ms. Becca, and Ms. Cindy -wanted to go shopping at a special store where you buy the fancy sticks and string that they like to use to make stuff.  Ms. Becca is just learning how to play with sticks and strings.  She went along to look at all of the pretty string and because she likes to hang around with The Lady, Ms. Cindy, and Ms. Joni.

Mr. Guy, Mr. Scott F (Ms. Joni’s brother) and Mr. Scott G (Ms. Cindy’s Mr. Guy) don’t know how to play with sticks and string and they don’t have any interest in learning. The boys would all much rather play with trains. Since I am a boy, I spent my day with them.  I think that a little blue and orange furry monster with sticks and string might be a disaster.  I like it when Ms. Joni and The Lady work their magic with the string and I end up with sweaters and hats that are already made!

I knew a little bit about trains. I had been on the light rail train at home in Dallas. It was a big train, not the size of a toy.  When Mr. Guy told me that we were going to go see trains, I thought they were going to be too big for this little monster to play with. Mr. Guy explained that he and the Mr. Scotts like to play with model trains. Model trains are trains that look just like the big trains but are much smaller.  Mr. Guy says he doesn’t have any of these little model trains anymore. He did when he was younger. The Mr. Scotts told me that they belong to model railroad clubs where they live. I got a bit confused.  Railroads?  I thought that we were talking about trains!  Mr Guy explained that trains are the individual cars and the railroad is everything having to do with trains – all the train cars and the track put together in one big package. He said its like when the ladies play with their sticks and strings it is called knitting. Knitting means the sticks, the string, the pattern, and the playing with the sticks and strings!  I think I now understand.

So while the ladies looked at string, we guys went to the Colorado Railroad Museum.  I was a little confused again. I didn’t have my dictionary to look up words and I wasn’t sure what a museum was. So Mr. Guy told me that a museum is a place where people keep special things that they don’t want to be damaged, or that they want lots of people to be able to see. The museum is a place where things are kept safe when they get old or can’t be used anymore.

An art museum has art in it and a science museum has science things in it. I asked if that meant our house was a museum because we have lots of art and things on the walls and The Lady says that there are science experiments in the refrigerator. Mr. Guy said not really because we do not preserve our stuff so that lots of people can come see it. He said that our house may be kind of a private museum for us and our friends.  But, not a science museum.  No one wants to see the experiments in our refrigerator.

Mr Guy told me that the railroad museum has lots of train cars – old ones and newer ones – and special ones that people might not get to see unless they visit the museum. I understand better now…things in a museum are there so that lots and lots of people can see them, even little blue and orange monsters!

W were on our way!  Mr. Guy, the Mr. Scotts and I headed to the train museum. The first thing we did was walk to find the bus that would take us to the station to wait for a real train that we rode to the museum! That was a lot of ways of transportation already!


I have to say that Mr Guy is not as good at picture taking as The Lady but he did his best.

The Lady and her girlfriends were shopping in Denver.  We went all the way to another city. It is called Golden. Golden did not look very golden to me, but Mr Guy said it got its name because they dig up lots of gold there. I wondered if we would get any gold.  In case you are wondering…we did not.

When we got off of the train, Mr Scott G thought there was a button we could push to get us to the museum. He said someone had told him about this button.  I wasn’t sure about that…a magic button? Mr Guy explained that it was supposed to be a button to let someone know that we were there to visit the museum.  I sort of understood this idea to be like our doorbell at home, but we never found any button, magic or otherwise. We did, however, see a green van and the man inside agreed to take us to the Visitors Center, for free!  I thought that maybe this was a  magic man driving a magic van.  Nothing is ever free!  Nope.  Our train tickets allowed us to ride in the magic green van.  Though I guess that means that the van was not really free because we had to buy tickets to ride the train.  It just felt free and maybe a little bit magic.


The van took us to the Golden Visitor’s center…not a golden visitor’s center, and not the train museum. We looked around there a little. There was a big statue of a bear.


Mr Guy told me that there are lots of bears in the woods near Golden, but that the bears rarely ever come into town. I was glad to hear that because this was a very big statue of a very scary looking bear.  Mr Guy said that the real bears are the same size as the statue!  I did not want to meet one of them!

We also saw a dragon!  Well, it was a statue too.   I asked Mr. Guy if dragons and bears were friends and if there were dragons in the woods too.  He assured me that I did not have to worry about meeting a real dragon.


Mr Guy said this dragon was made to honor the president of a special club.  I wondered what kind of president would make people think of a dragon.  I kept that thought to myself.

I was beginning to think that the only train we were going to see was the one that we rode to Golden. Fortunately, Mr Scott F used his phone to call someone named Ooh Bear, who he said would come and give us a ride to the museum. Mr. Guy had just said that bears didn’t come into the city and he also said that bears are big and scary.  I wasn’t sure why Mr. Scott F called one of them on his cellphone to come get us!  As it turned out, we were lucky.  The Ooh Bear that he called was not a real bear.  He was a man.  I wonder why his mom named him Ooh Bear. Oh well, the Ooh Bear man seemed very nice, though his car was a little small for all five of us. But, he got us to the Colorado Railroad Museum and that was what was important!

When we got there, I saw all of these big boxes and things I did not know about all around.   Mr Guy said that they are trains and that they once carried lots of people and lots of things all over the place. They are what we came to see.


I was very excited because the first thing we did at the museum was buy a new shirt for me!  Ms. Roz sold us my shirt and she agreed to be one of the people in my 100 people project.  She sells tickets and other things at the museum too.


We then headed downstairs. A model railroad club keeps their special train stuff there.  I wasn’t really sure what I was going to see. And then…Wow!  They have a whole set up of small trains, just like Mr. Guy and The Mr. Scotts said there would be. I had never seen trains like these before. They were small but looked just like the big ones that were all over outside. Mr Guy told me that the big ones worked just like these little ones except that the little ones were for people who had to pretend with trains rather than work with the big real ones. He said these are the kind of trains that the Mr. Scotts have. Mr Scott G was looking carefully at all the details of the trains.


When we were done inside, we went outside where there were more train cars to see. Mr Guy showed me how some of the cars were for carrying people and some were carrying things. There were also special trains called engines.  The engine is was what makes the train cars full of people and things go. The person who drives the engine is called an engineer.  I pretended that I was the engineer!


There were so many cars to see that Mr Guy and the Mr Scotts just couldn’t get pictures of all of them.  Mr Guy tried to take a picture of the two of us outside a caboose, but it didn’t really work. He told me that the last car on a train was called a caboose and it was a place for the people who worked on the train to eat and sleep when they were on long trips.


Mr Guy also told me that when he was a little monster like me, his dad worked for the railroad. Mr. Guy’s dad did not drive the trains.  He was a lawyer who worked with people who had been hurt while working for the railroad or who had had an accident with a train.  I don’t think I would want to be one of those people!

Mr Guy shared that he too had worked on the railroad one summer. He fixed train tracks. Mr. Guy showed me how the train cars at the museum were sitting on metal rails. The rails then sit on a metal plate and that plate sits on a big piece of wood. Mr Guy said those big pieces of wood are called ties. I thought ties were something that you wore around your neck. I certainly wouldn’t want to wear one of those ties. They look heavy.  I bet they would choke me!  Mr Guy explained that they are called ties because they tie the rails together. Big nails, called spikes, hold the plate and the rail on the tie. The rails, ties, and plates are called tracks. Mr Guy told me to look at where the tracks ran off into the distance so I could see how they looked like a path for the train to follow.

The last thing we saw at the museum was called a garden railroad. This was sort of like the little trains inside, but the train was bigger and ran outside in a real garden with pretty plants and flowers.  Mr. Guy explained that trains come in all sizes, from tiny model ones all the way up to the great big real ones. He said there are even some that are little blue and orange monster sized like me! I asked him if we cold get one of those  He said we would not have a place for one that big.  That made me a little sad.  I thought it would be fun to be the engineer on my very own train.


After we had seen everything at the museum, Mr. Scott F called our friend Ooh Bear again to take us back to the visitor center.  The guy who came to get us this time was a different person and in a different car than the first Mr. Ooh Bear!  There are two mothers that named their children Ooh Bear???  I guess it is a Colorado thing. I need to remember to ask Mr Guy or The Lady about that.

After we got back to the visitor center, everyone wanted lunch before we loaded back in the not-so-magic green van, and then the train, and then the bus, and then walked back to the hotel.


Mr Guy told me he was sorry he did not get more pictures. I told him that was ok. I had lots of fun and was glad he and the Mr Scotts took me along. I think I had more fun with them than I would have had looking at string with the ladies.

I sure was a tired little monster when we got back to the hotel. I went right to bed and slept all night long.

An Afternoon of Happy People!

We just got home from a weekend trip to Denver.  Before we even left Dallas, I knew it would be a good trip because I met all kinds of happy people in the airport!

Mr. Guy and The Lady wanted some holy donuts for a snack on the airplane.  I’m not exactly sure what makes a donut holy, but they went into a store and asked for holy donuts and the nice lady behind the counter filled a bag with them and gave it to Mr. Guy.  Then the cheerful lady behind the counter asked all about me.  Mr. Guy and The Lady told her about how we travel and meet new people and about my 100 People Project.  She said that sounded like fun and was happy to be #37 of my 100 People!

Ms. Lashanna shared her holy donuts and her smile with us.  What a great start to our trip!  I still don’t understand the whole holy donut thing, but if they make everyone cheerful, I guess that’s all I need to understand.

After we met Ms. Lashanna, we went to sit at our gate to wait for our airplane.  There we met more happy people!  Ms. Shelby was sitting across from us.  She asked what my name was.  Mr. Guy told her that I was his little blue and orange furry monster, Blueper B.  She said that she had a little monster too.  His name was Baby Ivan.  He didn’t look like a monster to me. He was a cute little boy. Ms. Shelby told us that she liked to call him her little monster.  We talked to Ms. Shelby for a long time while she and Baby Ivan ate their lunch and we ate some of our donuts.  Even though Ms. Shelby had some sad things happening in her life, she was still cheerful and smiling.  That made me smile too!

Ms. Shelby said she and Baby Ivan would also love to have their picture taken with me!  I was excited about that, but Baby Ivan wasn’t too sure that he wanted me to be that close to his mommy…or maybe it was that close to his chicken nugget.  I think he thought that I might try to eat his chicken nugget.  I wouldn’t do that!  Most of the time Mr. Guy and The Lady feed me well.  I don’t have to take food from sweet little babies!

There are lots of terrible things going on in the world and sometimes it is hard to smile.  We were lucky to meet all of these nice people.  There was also another lady sitting beside us while we were talking to Ms. Shelby.  That Lady had to leave her house in Florida because of Hurricane Irma, which was on its way close to her home. Her family wanted her way far away from Florida so that she would be safe.  Even though she was facing the unknown of this great big storm, this lady too was cheerful.  I didn’t have time to have my picture taken with her.  I do keep thinking about her, hoping that her home is safe and that she is still smiling.

I will probably never see Ms. Lashanna, Ms. Shelby, Baby Ivan, or the nice lady that was sitting next to us ever again, but I will always remember the smiles and happy conversations that we shared for a few minutes in the airport on that day.  The world would be a much better place if everyone made a point to share smiles and kind words every day!

Orange You Glad To See Me In NYC!

This week was both fun and a little strange.  I went on an adventure.  And The Lady went on the adventure.  But, Mr. Guy did not go on this adventure with us.  We went to New York City.  Mr. Guy had important stuff to do here at home.  Plus, he said that he doesn’t really like New York City.  That made me a little nervous.  I was afraid that I wouldn’t like it either, but I decided to be a brave little blue and orange furry monster and go.  I hoped that The Lady, Offspring #2, and The Young Guy would take good care of me.
     


Mr. Guy always carried me in airports and I always sit on his lap on the airplanes.  It felt funny to sit on The Lady’s lap, especially because we had kind of a bumpy ride to New York and I got a little scared.  It all worked out, though.  The Lady did OK but I hope that next time I fly somewhere that Mr. Guy goes too.

We landed in New York and had to take a taxi to our hotel.  

I have never ridden in a taxi before.  It was like the fancy black cars that have picked us up at airports before, the lemonzines, except that it wasn’t fancy and wasn’t black.  It was yellow.  That was all OK.  We crossed some bridges and went in a tunnel and passed lots of big buildings.  Then we got to our hotel.  The Young Guy picked the hotel and made the reservations.  It was called the Mobile Noble Den.  We have a den at our house, but it doesn’t have a bed.  I thought maybe The Lady and I might have to sleep on a couch.  We don’t have a bathroom in our at-home den either.  Maybe that’s because it is just a den, not a noble den.  Hopefully the noble part means that it has a bed and a bathroom in addition to a couch.

The Lady and I shared a room and Offspring #2 and The Young Guy had another room.  The room that The Lady and I had was perfect for us.  It was all orange!!!  Everything was orange.  I didn’t think The Young Guy knew me well enough to know that I love orange, but he did.  I still missed Mr. Guy, but the all orange room did make me happy.

Look at all of the orange!


Our bed was orange…


Our shower was orange…

I guess that you noticed that our den has both a bed and a bathroom.
Our telephone was orange…
Our sink had an orange stripe, though you can’t see it in these pictures.  I think that you can in the one above.  Even without the orange, this was a cool sink!  It was sort of in the middle of our den, but that was OK.  It had a fancy light up mirror.  I had fun looking at my fur in this mirror.  I didn’t even mind brushing it because I could watch for tangles so that I would not pull my fur and hurt my little monster body.

Eben “my office” was orange.  I sat here and made notes about all of the things that I wanted to tell you about.
Can you see my orange chair?
This is the view from my window.  We were staying right between Chinatown and Little Italy, whatever that means.
I really did miss Mr. Guy on this trip, but I have to admit that it was nice to have an entire half of the bed to myself rather than being squished between Mr. Guy and The Lady.
Speaking of having lots of room in the bed…now that I am home, I have my own bed back and I am very tired tonight.  Tomorrow I will tell you all about what we saw in New York.

Summertime and The Understanding Isn’t Easy!

Apparently today is the first day of summer, which confuses me a lot.  Back in May, May 12th to be exact, The Lady told me that she was officially on summer vacation.  To me that meant it must be summertime.  But if today is the first day of summer then obviously it was not summertime on May 12th.  Today, when The Lady was trying to explain all of this to me, she said that it was actually still spring back in May.  Oh!  So it was really spring vacation that started back in May.  She said, “No.  Not really.  Spring vacation was the week I had off in March.”  So I asked her when spring started.  She told me that the first day of spring was March 20th.  Hmm…looking back, she had her week off March 13-19.  That was before March 20th.  It wasn’t spring then; that was still winter.  Shouldn’t that have been called winter vacation?  Again she said, “No.  Winter vacation was in December and January, around Christmas.”  I was just getting more and more confused.  I had to ask The Lady when winter actually started.  She said that the first day of winter was December 21st.  I think that her first day of vacation was before then, but this is all too much for this little blue and orange furry monster to get straight.  Maybe from May 12th until today The Lady was just practicing for summer vacation.  All I really know is that everyone says that today is the first day of summer.  I am going to believe them.  You would think that as many falls, winters, springs, and summers that The Lady has seen and for as many years as she went to school, she would know exactly what season to call her vacations by now!  Apparently not.

The first day of summer is a special day because it is the day that we have the most sunlight and the least dark.  That means that there is more time today that people and little monsters can get sunburned.  The Lady has to be very careful that the sun doesn’t burn her skin.  If it does, she turns pink, or maybe red depending how long the sun cooks her.  I’ve never seen her turn pink or red, but she told me that it has happened before.  She doesn’t stay outside in the sun very long and when she is outside, she wears a hat and sunglasses and shirts with long sleeves.  Or sometimes, she puts this white icing stuff all over her.  She says that this is to keep the sun from baking her and turning her pink.  It seems strange that you would put icing on something someone before they are baked.  I will trust her on this, but not on the vacation names! 

Mr. Guy and The Lady got me a hat and sunglasses so that my monster head and eyes don’t get cooked by the sun.  I certainly don’t want my horns to get baked!  They might turn brown or black.  That’s what happens to stuff that The Lady bakes in the oven too long.  I don’t know if The Lady has any icing to keep my horns from turning icky colors.  I think I’d rather wear the hat.

My shirts have short sleeves.  The Lady said that she thought that all of my blue and orange fur would keep the sun from baking my arms.  I hope so because if the sun cooks me like it does The Lady, my fur will turn purple!  The Lady is white.  The sun makes her red.  Red and white mixed together make pink.  I’m blue (with some orange).  If the sun makes some of me red, blue and red mixed together make purple.  My orange would just turn a different color of orange, I think, maybe like the crayon color that is called red-orange.  I would become a furry little purple and red-orange monster.  I wouldn’t like that.  I like being blue!  I really don’t want to turn purple.  And I don’t want to use The Lady’s white icing stuff to keep me from turning purple.  Iced blue fur just sounds very yucky!  I think that I will just not go outside too much during the time when the sun might cook me.  That solves all of my problems, and The Lady’s too.

Oh…Mr. Guy used to teach Spanish and he teaches me how to speak Spanish because where I live here in Texas, lots of people speak Spanish.  I want to be able to talk with the people I meet.  I think it’s cool to be able to speak in two languages!  I like my new shirt that says hello in Spanish.  The Lady doesn’t speak Spanish very well (but she does know the word hola).  She speaks French pretty well, though; Mr. Guy and I don’t know French at all.  If I learn more Spanish with Mr. Guy, we can talk about all of the brown and black stuff that The Lady makes by cooking things too long in the oven and then tries to hide it with some kind of icing stuff.  Since she can’t understand Mr. Guy and me when we talk in Spanish, we won’t hurt her feelings when we say it doesn’t look or taste good.

Happy real first day of summer!

Pun Times!



What do you call a person rabid with wordplay? An energizer punny. 

Mr. guy is an energizer punny.  That means that he likes to say silly things by using words in funny ways.  I think that this is why I have a hard time using the right words sometimes.  

A pun is a joke made by a play on words.  I can think of a lot better things to play with than words, but apparently Mr. Guy likes to play with words.  He doesn’t like Lego or Tinker Toys.  He would rather build things with letters and words.  Words are just too confusing for me.  

Since today was Fathers Day and Mr. Guy is my dad, I let him read to me and tell me his silly puns.  Just between you and me, this little blue and orange furry monster does not understand all of these jokes, but I laughed to make Mr. Guy feel good.  That was my Fathers Day gift to him.

In case you want top know what I am talking about, here are some of his puns:


• Santa’s helpers are known as subordinate Clauses.
• She had a photographic memory but never developed it.
• The two pianists had a good marriage. They always were in a chord.
• I was struggling to figure out how lightning works then it struck me.
• I really wanted a camouflage shirt, but I couldn’t find one.
• The grammarian was very logical. He had a lot of comma sense.
• A chicken farmer’s favorite car is a coupe.
• I’ve been to the dentist many times so I know the drill. 
• What did one plant say to another? What’s stomata?
• The other day I held the door open for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester.
• A chicken crossing the road is truly poultry in motion.
• The politician is not one for Indian food. But he’s good at currying favors.
• How do construction workers party? They raise the roof.
• A boiled egg every morning is hard to beat
• When a woman returns new clothing, that’s post traumatic dress syndrome.
• After hours of waiting for the bowling alley to open, we finally got the ball rolling.
• Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was brilliant!
• Always trust a glue salesman. They tend to stick to their word.
• Where do you find giant snails? On the ends of giants’ fingers.
• Guerrilla warfare is more than just throwing a banana.
• The cartoon animator felt imprisoned by his job. He could not free himself from his cell.
• I thought Santa was going to be late, but he arrived in the Nick of time.
• With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress
• Every calendar’s days are numbered.
• A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two-tired.
• No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.
• A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
• If you don’t pay your exorcist, you will get repossessed.
• Being struck by lightning is really a shocking experience!
• A pessimist’s blood type is always B-negative.
• Dockyard: A physician’s garden.
• I went to a seafood disco last week… and pulled a mussel.
• Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a-salted.
• Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
• The lights were too bright at the Chinese restaurant so the manager decided to dim sum.


I hope you smiled at least a little.

Happy Fathers Day to all of you guys out there!

A Month of Me: Day 24 – Milk, Mugs, and Memories Shared


Today Mr. Guy told me all about his dad, mostly about how he worked for the Missouri Pacific Railroad as a claims attorney.  Mr. Guy explained that whenever there was wreck center that involved a train, his dad would go investigate how it happened.  When Mr. Guy was a little boy he rode the trains with his dad…not the wrecked trains, the good trains.  When he was on the train, he drank his milk out of a little glass milk bottle and his dad used the coffee mug.  Now Mr. Guy uses the coffee mug and I get to drink my milk out of the same glass milk bottle that he used when he was a little monster boy.

I liked learning about Mr. Guy’s dad and I like that The Lady took a picture of us with the railroad mug and bottle, but I don’t like her picture AT ALL!  She made me a little furry gray and grayer monster, not the little furry blue and orange monster that I am.  Monsters who were born gray should be gray in their pictures.  Monsters who were born blue and orange should always be blue and orange in their pictures!  Mr. Guy said that his fur used to be brown but turned gray when he grew up so he looks OK in The Lady’s picture.  If my fur turns gray when I grow up, then pictures of me can be gray and grayer.  Right now, I want them to be blue and orange!

The Lady told me that she made the picture gray and grayer because Mr. Guy and I were too colorful.  With my blue and orange fur and his green plaid shirt, the red train logos were barely noticeable and they are the most important part of the picture.  I guess I understand that, but I don’t like it.  I hope this is the last gray picture that The Lady wants to take of me…until my fur is gray like Mr. Guy’s.