It is only the second day of my May photo and writing adventure and already I’m not sure this is a good idea! The Lady told me that today is National Fitness Day so our picture would have something today with that. I had no idea what she meant, but was not worried about it.
I figured a fitness day was probably a good thing. Maybe it had something to do with seeing how all my shirts fit me. And if Mr. Guy and The Lady were checking to see how my shirts are fitting that must mean that maybe it is getting close to time that we can go shopping for new ones. I started getting a little excited about this fitness day.
Then it came time to take some pictures…
Offspring No. 1 was there to help. She said that I needed to have hand waits and a mat before The Lady could take the fitness pictures. Why did I have to have a mat? The Lady usually makes me brush my fur before I can be photographed because she says that having mats in my fur makes me look like nobody takes care of me. I learned a long time ago to brush my fur everyday because it hurts to have the tangly mats brushed out. I try not to cry if I get them, though, because The Lady says that she’ll have to cut the mats out of my fur if she can’t brush them out and I do not want to have holes in my fur! It is just easier to never get a mat. And now I am supposed to have one? This is very confusing.
And hand waits, too. I figured that must be part of the corona virus stuff. Our hands have to wait to touch stuff so we don’t share germs. I guess that means that my hands are going to have to wait to try on new shirts. But what does that have to do with taking a picture today?
When I got outside, there was an orange rectangle on the ground. It had big orange dog bones on it. I thought maybe the orange rectangle was a dog bed since it had dog bones on it. The Lady asked me to go lay on the mat. I told her that I did not have a mat, that my fur was all brushed and not tangly. I wanted to look nice for today’s picture. She pointed to the orange dog bed and said that was the mat. Weird. It was smooth and didn’t have any fur that could get into a mat.
Then Offspring No. 1 explained that fitness day is about taking care of your body, about doing things that make your muscles strong and keep all of your body parts healthy. This is what I was expecting, to hear. The hand waits are important because they mean I won’t touch things that might make me sick and then make my body not strong.
Offspring No. 1 told me to grab a wait. I just looked at her. Then she pointed to the dog bone and said it again, “grab a wait.” I asked her if she wanted me to wait to grab a bone. She looked at me like all of my fur was matted. “A wait! Pick up that hand wait right there!” I think she was getting mad at me but I was so confused. Finally she figure out why I didn’t understand. “Not hand wait, hand w-e-I-g-h-t. Weight! And it is not a dog bone!
I reached to pick up the hand w-e-I-g-h-t. It was heavy! Offspring No. 1 said that that was the point. It had to be heavy because it was lifting the heavy w-e-I-g-h-t was how my muscles would get strong. I learned that picking up heavy stuff is how you get fitnessed.
I picked up those weights a few times and then my arms started to hurt. They hurt more than having my fur mats brushed out
Offspring No. 1 tried to show me how to use these hand weight things. She is very fitnessed.
I was just tired.
The Lady told me that when Offspring No. 1 was little like me, she had lots of hairs and her hairs would get into a mat because she didn’t like to brush them. And when The Lady would try to brush Offspring No. 1’s hairs for her, she would cry because it hurt. Maybe Offspring No. 1 and I have some things in common. Maybe one day I will have muscles as strong as hers.
But even if I do make my muscles big and strong, they will never show because my fur covers them up. And I am going to keep my fur because I brush it and don’t have to make holes in it cutting out any mats!
I think that we are all good at different things. Offspring No. 1 is good at fitness day and hand weights and I am good at brushhing my fur. I can celebrate No Mat Day. I think we should just leave it this way.
I wonder if there is a No Mat Day.