I thought today would be an all-day fun day since it is Saturday and because The Lady wasn’t at school during the week, she could have gotten her chores done on Monday or Tuesday or Wednesday or Thursday, or Friday. Well, I was a very wrong little monster about that. Today was an all-day chore day! Mr. Guy and I worked in the greenhouse and the yard while The Lady collected canine fur from all over the house. Part of what Mr. Guy and I did was collect “other stuff” that the canines left out in the yard. What I don’t understand is while we were all picking up stuff that the canines left everywhere, they were all snoring on the couch. Something isn’t right here.
I thought doing chores was all about getting rid of dirt, but Mr. Guy and I filled all of the clean plant pots with dirt and moved plants into these new pots. When we were done with that, Mr. Guy said we needed to go work on the flower beds. We had just put all of the plants and flowers in clean new pots and now we had to make their beds too? The flowers are beginning to sound like the canines…they too just sit around and look pretty while this little monster does all the work.
And if all that work wasn’t enough, Mr. Guy and I also had to make dinner. Well, the truth is that Mr. Guy said he wanted to make dinner and he asked me to help. He said that it would be something nice that we could do for The Lady since she makes dinner for us most other nights. I don’t know much about cooking, but I said, “OK. I’ll help.” I asked Mr. Guy what we were having for dinner. He said stakes and cold straw. That sounded…interesting.
We put tall skinny stakes in some of the pots for our plants. I thought they were there so the plants didn’t fall over. I guess they are food too and keep the plants from falling over because they are so hungry. I didn’t know that plants, humans, and little monsters all ate the same thing. We pulled the stakes out of the bags and fed them to the plants just as they came. They must be plant fast food. I assumed we would eat them raw too. Good choice to have stakes for dinner, I guess…no real work for us!
I told Mr. Guy that I would go get the straw from the compost bin and take it to the refrigerator. He looked a little confused and asked my why I was going to do that. I told him, “Because you said we were having cold straw for dinner and it is ninety degrees outside and our straw is hot. He then explained that we were not having cold straw. We are having cole slaw, a salad made from cabbage. That makes a lot more sense and sounds a lot tastier, especially with the raw stakes. Mr. Guy and I made the cole slaw together and put it in the fridge so that it became cold cole slaw with NO straw.
Then it was time to get ready to eat dinner. Mr. Guy said that we were going to cook outside on the grill. What were we cooking? The cole slaw was cold and the stakes were raw. Mr. Guy said that we were going to cook the stakes. I think that is why The Lady makes Mr. Guy cook outside. Cooking the wood stakes sounded more like he was going to make a bonfire, which would make lots of smoke, rather than dinner. Smoke in the house is not good. It makes the smoke detector go off and that is an awful sound.
Mr. Guy let me turn the grill on. It has a big lid. I guess that keeps all the smoke from the bonfire in. Ouside we have smoke deflectors instead of smoke detectors!
I asked Mr. Guy if he wanted me to go to the greenhouse to get the stakes. He said that they were in the fridge with the cole slaw. How did the stakes get in the fridge with the cole slaw? I went to get them. I didn’t see any stakes. Mr. Guy went and got them himself. He couldn’t find them either because he came out with two pieces of meat instead of the stakes.
I asked, “Why do you have meat? I thought you were cooking the stakes.”
He said, “This is them.”
“Those don’t look like stakes.,” I said.
“Why not?” Mr. Guy asked.
I said, “Because stakes are long skinny pieces of wood and those are short fat pieces of meat.”
“S-T-E-A-K-S not S-T-A-K-E-S,” Mr. Guy said.
“Hmm. And how was I supposed to know that?” I asked.
“Good question,” he said. And we cooked our s-t-e-a-k-s.
Mr. Guy and I make pretty good steaks and cole slaw…
…probably much better than our stakes and cold straw would have been.